#TNGWatch #S02E11 #Contagion

Iconians? In the Neutral Zone? With the USS Yamato? Sweet!

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Picard mentions his love of archaeology for the first time! Whee!

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And then Picard orders “Tea, Earl Grey, hot” from the replicator for the first time! Yay!!!!

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Iconian Gateway, y’all!!!

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This episode had a couple of cool firsts concerning Picard, and it made my fanboy heart jump with glee. But also, there were Romulans, which are still being vastly underused, and some awesome ancient civilization stuff in the Iconians. Both La Forge and Riker get some neat character moments, and Data continues to remind everyone what a great thing it is to have an android on the team. It’s not a particularly excellent episode or anything, but it was a lot of fun.

Fashion Talk: Did the Romulans get their uniforms from the 80s? Those are some amazing fucking shoulder pads, you guys.

#TNGWatch #S02E10 #TheDauphin

I remember this episode, and it’s not one of my favorites, mostly because I’m not looking forward to seeing The Boy being all lovelorn :P

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Oh my God, we’re only five minutes in and The Boy is already on my last nerve.

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Wait, I take it back. The Boy asking everybody how to talk to girls is leading to some hilarious exchanges. Worf telling him about how Klingon women yell and throw heavy objects while the men read love poetry and duck a lot is THE BEST. And then Riker and Guinan hit on each other while The Boy very quickly becomes a third wheel.

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Okay, The Boy actually has some pretty good game.

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Okay, I’m back to being super annoyed by The Boy, who’s currently acting like a whiny, sulky jackass.

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There were some legitimately funny bits, but watching Anya behave like the worst helicopter parent by basically making Salia a prisoner was not fun. Couple that with some pretty cringey lovey-dovey stuff from The Boy, and I probably don’t have to watch this whole episode ever again. Maybe I’ll just rewatch Worf explain how Klingon men and women woo each other.

Fashion Talk: Guinan’s lipstick game is on point! A deep burgundy, almost purple, that matched her outfit.

#TNGWatch #S02E05 #LoudAsAWhisper

I don’t know what this one’s about!

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Oh man, four characters stood around O’Brien, and nobody spoke to him! Poor O’Brien, he doesn’t even have his name yet!

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It’s Riva! I remember Riva. He’s a deaf-mute mediator and speaks through his chorus: the scholar/artist, the lover/warrior, and the harmony/balance.

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Man, Riva is super rude for some kind of super mediator. And he’s macking on Troi super hard. And yes, I’ve used “super” three times. Deal with it.

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Pulaski! I totally didn’t miss you in the last episode where you didn’t show up at all :P

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This was pretty good! Riva and his chorus are pretty awesome characters, even if three-quarters of them get horribly killed halfway through the episode. Riva is quite skeevy, though, and I wish people would stop hitting on Troi so overtly.

Data learning five forms of sign language in like five minutes reminds us all what a fantastic thing it is to have an android on the team.

We also get the first inkling of how much pain La Forge is in thanks to his VISOR when he goes to see Pulaski (who still somehow managed to be pretty bigoted about the whole thing; but maybe I’m just so annoyed by her that even the benign stuff seems like she hates people who rely on technology).

Fashion Watch: Riva and his chorus are not dressed like weird future fetish people! Yay!

#TNGWatch #S01E24 #WellAlwaysHaveParis

I have no idea what this episode is about, but Picard is fencing and there are timey-wimey shenanigans, so I’m excited.

Also, how come every time the Enterprise wants to take shore leave, some bullshit happens?

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Wait, why is Denise Crosby still on the credits? Is Tasha Yar gonna show up because of timey-wimey shenanigans?!

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That look Riker and Data gave each other when seeing Picard’s ex for the first time is 100% the look friends give each other when they meet their other friend’s ex for the first time. Possibly the best acting in both Frakes and Spiner’s careers.

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What’s better than one Data? Two Datas! Manheim Effect FTW!

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Jenice Manheim, what are you wearing?!

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What’s better than two Datas? Three Datas! Wait, isn’t “Data” already the plural? Whatever! Manheim Effect FTW!

Also, how you gonna keep anti-matter in a pod made of matter, Star Trek? That shit should be exploding all over the place.

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This was a decent episode, but unfortunately more attention was paid to Picard’s romantic escapades than to the awesome time “hiccups” and alternate dimensions. Like, how are Jenice Manheim and Jean-Luc Picard gonna flirt with each other when her husband is dying in the next room? Also, why is Crusher getting jealous? At least she focuses on her job instead of satisfying Troi’s apparent need for gossip.

Fashion Talk: Seriously, what was Jenice Manheim wearing? It was a pair of floofy pantaloons with a weird top that had slits on the sides and a full back, and all of it was in a very shiny, rainbow silver. The fashion of the future is awful.

PS. Tasha Yar did not show up; I just forgot this show premiered in 1987 and they couldn't anyhow change the titles, so Denise Crosby's name will remain until the end of the first season.

#TNGWatch #S01E20 #HeartOfGlory

Romulans! Finally! And mayhaps some Klingons?

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Haha! That was a nifty little scene about what and how Geordi sees, and while Picard behaves like an excited schoolboy, Riker has to be the adult in the room and get the mission back on track :D

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This was a decent episode, if a bit anticlimactic. It was a pretty good character study of Worf, in which you learn he’s a third-culture kid who was raised by humans after his family was killed by Romulans at Khitomer. So when two renegade Klingons come aboard the Enterprise talking about battle and glory, Worf gets a bit misty-eyed. Worf, of course, chooses not to join the criminals, but still gives the last one a Klingon death (and I guess we’re supposed to feel pity for them, warriors in a time of peace, but they did kill some security officers who probably had families, so fuck that noise). Also, are all Klingons this poetic? (The answer is yes, of course they are.)

This episode also featured bits of the "Klingon Battle Theme" from Star Trek: The Motion Picture, and it was awesome. That’s one of my favorite pieces of music, and I recognized it immediately by just a few strains.

I was wrong about the Romulans. They are still no-shows, and I actually only realized when starting this episode that neither they nor the Klingons had showed up at all this entire season (Worf himself being the exception).

Fashion Talk: Klingon uniforms are the friggin’ best.

#TNGWatch #S01E19 #ComingOfAge

It’s a The Boy-centric episode as he takes his Starfleet entrance exam. Also, Starfleet Admiral shenanigans!

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Riker did his leg over the chair thing! Ha!

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When Picard was saving that kid in the shuttlecraft, my brain was shouting, “That’s not how physics works!”

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This was a pretty good episode. The Boy is taking the Starfleet entrance exam while Picard is being investigated for various goings-on onboard the Enterprise. However, I was right when I called this “admiral shenanigans” as that’s all they turned out to be. The admiral who ordered the investigation just wanted to make sure Picard was clean because he thinks there’s a conspiracy trying to tear the Federation down. I honestly hope this plot thread is picked up again later.

Meanwhile, The Boy goes through testing, and we meet Mordock, the first Benzite inducted into Starfleet. Yay, Mordock! I’m not really sure why I like him so much, but I do. The other human and the Vulcan who were also testing seemed like they could have been interesting characters, but unfortunately neither woman was really developed much.

Fashion Talk: The Boy cut his hair, and he looks way cuter now. Also, Picard wore his dress uniform in one scene, and I know it’s basically a long coat, but it really looks like a dress. It goes down all the way to just below the knee, and seems to be form-fitting. Also also, the Starfleet skirts seem to be making a huge comeback. I saw like 10 different people wearing them in this episode.

#TNGWatch #S01E18 #HomeSoil

After a long hiatus due to Samurai Champloo, Marvel's Spider-Man, Shadow of the Tomb Raider, Iron Fist, and The Dragon Prince (from the writers of Avatar: The Last Airbender!), we’re back to watching the semi-utopian future of Star Trek! I have no idea what this one’s about!

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The lady explaining how terraforming works to the clearly befuddled Enterprise away team is named Luisa Kim, making her a Latinx-Asian woman!

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Picard is getting his Dixon Hill on as he plays detective on an about-to-be-terraformed planet.

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That woman is clearly grieving, Riker! Stop being a sex pest!

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Worf just scolded the computer, and it was ADORABLE!

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This was legit a good episode. The Enterprise discovers a new type of life form on a planet that’s about to be terraformed (which would kill the new life form), and then the life form declares war on humanity. This is a great episode about the exploration side of Star Trek, and about defusing a situation as quickly as possible without killing anything in the process. Peace and science for the win!

Fashion Talk: Why do the terraforming crew’s uniforms have such a huge lapel? Wouldn’t that get in the way of all the stuff they have to do? Seems like a terrible accident waiting to happen.

#TNGWatch #S01E17 #WhenTheBoughBreaks

Oh dang, I think this is going to be a The Boy-centric episode.

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Why are all these children wearing such awful clothing?!

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It doesn’t even matter what this episode was about. That little red-headed girl was the most adorable thing and this episode is amazing because of her. She even played with The Boy and I found him less irritating. She went to hug Picard and it was adorable because he still doesn’t like children. She had what looked like a Tribble toy, and it was adorable too. There should be an entire episode devoted to the adventures of that little girl. There was also a civilization that kidnapped other people’s children, but who even cares.

Fashion Talk: As adorable as that little girl was, she and all the other children wore the most hideous clothing! It’s like they were all dressed for the figure skating competition at the Winter Olympics!

#TNGWatch #S01E16 #TooShortASeason

I have no idea what this episode is about! Exciting! There is a super old dude in it, though!

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This was a weird episode. A very old admiral makes the decision to take some untested alien drug to regain his youth so that he can redress a wrong he committed on a somewhat friendly, yet non-Federation planet. While he does get an extra dose for his wife, he doesn’t actually ask her about it, and ends up taking both doses anyway. Men. The actor that played the admiral was pretty awful, actually, and the story didn’t make a lot of sense. Like, how are you gonna redress a wrong by going in guns blazing? Nonsensical.

Fashion Talk: I just noticed that Starfleet pants have these little openings right above their shoes! That’s actually a pretty clever way to make sure the pants don’t bunch up at the ankle. I approve!

#TNGWatch #S01E15 #11001001

It’s the Bynars episode. I’m already quite happy seeing the supermassive Starbase that the Enterprise docks with :D

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Riker is being super creepy and skeevy in the holodeck.

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Damn, you guys cleared the entire Enterprise in only four minutes? That is efficient.

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This episode was alright. I liked Picard and Riker Butch-and-Sundancing their way into the bridge, but was a bit sad everybody else got shunted off to the side. But man, Riker was super skeevy every time he interacted with Minuet, the holowoman with all the Bynars’ info. I like the Bynars as a species a lot because they’re kind of mix of Coluans (super smart people with a supercomputer at the center of their world; see Braniac 5) and Winathians (people that are almost always born as twins; see Lightning Lad aka Live Wire and Lightning Lass aka Spark), and that makes my nerd brain happy. Also, the Starbase looked freaking awesome. I love that thing.

Fashion Talk: What the hell were Tasha Yar and Worf wearing at the beginning of this episode? It was blue and the right side was covered in extra fabric or netting. They were gonna play some sport on the Starbase, but those things were hideous. On the upside, The Boy got a haircut and he looks a lot less derpy now.

#TNGWatch #S01E14 #AngelOne

Another episode I know nothing about, but it has a matriarchal society and a missing starship crew, so I assume it will attempt to deal with sexism again. Worf did just say, “Klingons appreciate strong women,” so brace yourselves.

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Oh my God, Data, Riker, Tasha Yar, and Troi just had this whole conversation about aphrodisiacs. What the hell, TNG?!

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Oh man, the Fashion Talk for this episode is going to be long. I mean, there’s Riker nipple!

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There’s Picard nipple in this too! What is happening?!

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That was a weird and terrible episode. There are so many things going on, but they’re all so boring. There’s the deal with the marooned men on the matriarchal planet who are kind of, sort of agitating for equal rights for men just by existing, there’s a weird flu on the Enterprise in which The Boy was patient zero, and Romulans are sniffing about the Neutral Zone (possibly the most exciting bit in the episode, but we only ever hear about that and never see it). But it’s all so boring. The episode felt extra long because nothing was really happening. Everybody was just treading water until the appointed plot points were supposed to happen. And so much speechifying. From Crusher, from Riker, from friggin’ Tasha Yar. There were two good things, though: Worf sneezing a glorious sneeze, and La Forge taking command of the Enterprise while Picard was sick and Riker was sexytiming Beata, the head of state of Angel One.

Fashion Talk: This episode shows us a lot of weird outfits, man. First there was that tinfoil ski outfit that The Boy and his friend were wearing. It even had a shiny headband for reasons. If the sunlight glinting off the snow doesn’t blind you, those outfits definitely will.

Then, there was the really weird outfits the men had to wear on Angel One, and that Riker put on in order to be diplomatic when he met Beata for sexytimes. It was almost like a dancer’s outfit. It opened in the front (hence the Riker nipple), and the pants were really tight in the crotch and had ribbons tied around the legs going all the way up to the butt. Presumably, this is what the Angel One women find attractive and therefore force all the men to wear, but man, did they actually ask anybody who’s attracted to men about these outfits? Because they were hideous.

#TNGWatch #S01E13 #Datalore

Oooh, I’ve heard a lot about this episode, but I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen it! Excite!

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The Federation really needs to update their protocols for entering weird new places. How are you gonna scan for viruses and bacteria AFTER you’ve entered a sealed corridor? Seow.

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Wait, Data can be roofied?

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The Boy being told to “shut up” twice almost makes up for the fact that he once again saved everybody by being the first (and only) crew member to realize that Lore had switched places with Data before he started actively attacking, but c’mon, how is the entire bridge crew this dumb? Lore uses contractions, he calls Riker by his name instead of “Commander”, and doesn’t know what “Make it so” means. All of you should be fucking ashamed of yourselves that only The Boy clocked this. And the writers should be ashamed that they wrote this switcheroo so poorly. But I did like the various revelations about Data’s past, though I honestly thought this was already common knowledge in Starfleet. Like, how are you gonna turn on an android you know nothing about, then let him join Starfleet and rise up the ranks? What if he had been Lore? Starfleet is fucking weird sometimes, man.

Fashion Talk: That ensemble they put Lore in after they turn him on is kind of weird. It looks like a bathrobe with pantlegs. And a half turtleneck? I assume this thing is what civilians usually wear in the future, and if so, civilians wear some friggin’ ugly clothes.

#TNGWatch #S01E11 #Haven

I think Riker was about watch some weird musical porn when Tasha Yar called him to the transporter room. Also, a Betazoid Gift Box!

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Lwaxana Troi is in the house! And man, I forgot she had a motor mouth!

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This was a weird episode, what with the arranged marriages and the plague ships and the pleasure planets and the shared consciousness, but it also featured the first appearance of Lwaxana Troi, who is the best character ever. She is loud and brash and speaks her mind and I love her to bits. And she made Picard say, “I am not amused.” Also, Lurch said “Thank you for the drinks.” :D Also, Riker was totally about to watch some porn at the very beginning, which is a weird place for him to start the episode when later he’s gonna get all jealous about Troi’s impending marriage to another human.

Fashion Talk: No The Boy to make fun of this episode, so instead I’ll make fun of Troi’s shiny pink jumpsuit. I wonder why so many sci-fi costume designers envision the fashion of the future so damn shiny! This jumpsuit might actually have been okay if not for the fact that it ended up looking like pink aluminum foil instead of a piece of fabric.

#TNGWatch #S01E10 #HideAndQ

My annoying ex-boyfriend Q’s back! And no Troi jumpsuits!

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Guys, Q is quoting Shakespeare. I’m in danger of taking my obnoxious ex-boyfriend back. Help me, guys. Someone sing Dua Lipa at me.

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This Q episode was good! I think maybe the writers are getting better? Picard calling Riker an idiot was too damn good, and I hope Picard does it more often (at least until Riker grows his sexy beard). Q had some pretty good lines this episode, and I guess the next time he shows up will be as Mortal Q, since he’s being punished? Tasha Yar, though. I think they just don’t know what to do with her. Bonus: Worf growling “This is sex!” was pretty hilarious. This isn’t great by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m at least enjoying myself more.

Fashion Talk: That’s the second time in a row The Boy has worn this particularly hideous sweater with the rainbow on it, but when Riker aged him up 10 years and he was still wearing it, I almost lost it. It turns out The Boy’s hideous sweaters are even more hideous on an older guy.

#TNGWatch #S01E09 #TheBattle

The Ferengi are back! It’s DaiMon Bok this time, whom I’ve heard a lot about, but never actually seen, I don’t think.

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Not bad, this episode. DaiMon Bok wants revenge against Picard for killing his son after an unprovoked attack nine years ago (when the Federation didn’t know who or what the Ferengi were), so Bok uses an illegal Thought Maker to make Picard relive the battle. He also tries to frame Picard with his old ship, the USS Stargazer, though that story thread seems to go nowhere. Bok is ultimately arrested by his own First Officer because Bok’s personal vengeance was an “unprofitable venture”, which is just the most Ferengi thing ever.

Fashion Talk: The Ferengi are still wearing their weird fur vests. I hope that’s gone the next time they show up.

#TNGWatch #S01E08 #Justice

This one’s got almost naked people! What’s with all the sex, TNG?!

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That shit-eating grin Riker has this entire episode is really quite indicative of this whole situation.

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This was a weird episode. I kind of understand the point of the whole “justice cannot be absolute” thing, but they were kind of heavy-handed about it. Also, why set it in what amounted to a weird orgy planet? Did no one think that would be just a little distracting to the overall theme? And why were the “gods” little all-powerful bubbles?

Fashion Talk: the Edo people were obviously wearing sexy clothes so they could sexytime whenever they wanted (which seemed to be pretty much all the time), but if that’s the case, why wear clothes at all? If the answer is “because network television”, then why wear such impractical clothes? I mean, those things were totally riding up everyone’s butts! Also, The Boy wore another hideous sweater, and Troi another hideous jumpsuit (or is it the same hideous jumpsuit?).

#TNGWatch #S01E06 #WhereNoOneHasGoneBefore

I have no idea what this episode is about, but I already want to punch that Kasinski guy in the face.

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Oh! Is that the Traveler? I think that’s the Traveler!

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Okay, this was actually a pretty good episode. There was exploration and mystery and space shenanigans. The Traveler is a pretty neat concept that is immediately shelved so that he can’t be used as a deus ex machina for other problems (I mean, until he is in later episodes, but literally the first thing I thought when they get to Galaxy M-33 was, “Wait, why didn’t Voyager use this guy?”). The Boy is made acting Ensign in this, but I also just noticed that he wears some truly horrible sweaters. Someone get that kid a fashion coordinator stat!

Fashion Talk: Speaking of fashion, that weird Starfleet skirt makes a reappearance on an extra who looked suspiciously like John Cho’s dad. I’ve decided I really like that skirt, and it’s actually a much better costume for Troi than the weird jumpsuits she’s been wearing these past few episodes.