#TNGWatch #SeasonOne #WrapUp

This was an incredibly uneven season. It had its moments of brilliance, and a few shades here and there of what it becomes in the future, but it was mostly filled with meh episodes, and a fair amount of truly terrible episodes. I am fairly impressed that they very rarely relied on what had come before, however. The Klingons and Romulans, aliens that were known from the OG series and films, only show up in one episode each, and Vulcans only show up once or twice (I only remember that Admiral from the body horror episode). Everything else is quite new and fairly different. OG Trek was getting into scrapes all the damn time, while TNG tries really, really hard not to.

The cast mostly gels into what I remember by the end of the season, though Worf and La Forge are still in command red, and Riker’s face is still naked, but there’s a lot less grumpy Picard, and Data kind of steals the show every time he shows up. Tasha Yar gets the boot, and The Boy really disappears from the last few episodes, showing up almost as an extra only a few times since the episode in which he took the Starfleet exam and didn’t make it.

Now, onward to Season Two!

#TNGWatch #S01E26 #TheNeutralZone

The last episode of the first season! Finally! Also, will we finally see some Romulans? Maybe!

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Haha! Worf just walked into a door that he assumed would open for him automatically.

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Gul Dukat is in this episode! I mean, not Gul Dukat, but Marc Alaimo, the actor that plays Gul Dukat in DS9. He’s a cryogenic survivor from the 20th century and wants to read a copy of The Wall Street Journal. Adorable.

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I was wrong! Gul Dukat is a Romulan commander, not a 20th century obnoxious human!

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This was a pretty meh episode to end a season on. Don’t get me wrong, the Romulans saying, “We are back,” is a pretty good end-of-season stinger (delivered by Gul Dukat cosplaying a Romulan, no less), but they only showed up at the very end (though at least this Neutral Zone episode wasn’t a tease like the the last one was). This episode was mostly about the cryogenically frozen 20th century American humans and their hilarious misunderstanding of how things work now. It felt like an undercover Very Special Episode about how we’re too materialistic. Still, better than most season 1 episodes.

#TNGWatch #S01E25 #Conspiracy

Wait, is this a follow-up to that one episode with the Admiral shenanigans?

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Holy shit, this episode is super disturbing.

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Holy shit! Why am I suddenly watching a Cronenberg movie?! Ahhhh!

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This was a really good episode, but it was super horrifying! That conspiracy that one Admiral talked about is picked up here. We find out that various key Federation personnel are infested with these horrible parasites. I mean, they are super horrible to look at.

The conspiracy is quickly unraveled (because we only have one episode to deal with this), and it ends with some body horror worthy of Cronenberg. The main host has a Raiders of the Lost Ark face-melting scene before his entire ribcage is exposed and this huge parasite comes out of him, Alien-style (only bigger and with less chest left on the host). This is after a bunch of admirals eat some crawly grubs and the main host swallows a smaller parasite.

The whole episode is such... urgh (that onomatopoeia is not strong enough for the sounds of revulsion I am actually making). After seeing the main host’s insides, I got a flashback to the first time I saw this episode as a kid (when I promptly freaked the fuck out) that I had clearly suppressed.

#TNGWatch #S01E24 #WellAlwaysHaveParis

I have no idea what this episode is about, but Picard is fencing and there are timey-wimey shenanigans, so I’m excited.

Also, how come every time the Enterprise wants to take shore leave, some bullshit happens?

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Wait, why is Denise Crosby still on the credits? Is Tasha Yar gonna show up because of timey-wimey shenanigans?!

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That look Riker and Data gave each other when seeing Picard’s ex for the first time is 100% the look friends give each other when they meet their other friend’s ex for the first time. Possibly the best acting in both Frakes and Spiner’s careers.

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What’s better than one Data? Two Datas! Manheim Effect FTW!

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Jenice Manheim, what are you wearing?!

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What’s better than two Datas? Three Datas! Wait, isn’t “Data” already the plural? Whatever! Manheim Effect FTW!

Also, how you gonna keep anti-matter in a pod made of matter, Star Trek? That shit should be exploding all over the place.

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This was a decent episode, but unfortunately more attention was paid to Picard’s romantic escapades than to the awesome time “hiccups” and alternate dimensions. Like, how are Jenice Manheim and Jean-Luc Picard gonna flirt with each other when her husband is dying in the next room? Also, why is Crusher getting jealous? At least she focuses on her job instead of satisfying Troi’s apparent need for gossip.

Fashion Talk: Seriously, what was Jenice Manheim wearing? It was a pair of floofy pantaloons with a weird top that had slits on the sides and a full back, and all of it was in a very shiny, rainbow silver. The fashion of the future is awful.

PS. Tasha Yar did not show up; I just forgot this show premiered in 1987 and they couldn't anyhow change the titles, so Denise Crosby's name will remain until the end of the first season.

#TNGWatch #S01E23 #SkinOfEvil

The episode we’ve been waiting all season to watch: the death of Tasha Yar! Whee!

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Holy crap, that was a super shit death! I thought she would at least put up a fight! Dang, Denise Crosby got done dirty.

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Armus is a psychopathic dick. He bullies everyone else and blames other people for his actions. Presumably, Republicans will nominate it for President.

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Worf, you have pronounced the word “Prieto” three different ways, all of them wrong.

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There was a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff that led to this episode. Even though Tasha Yar was the focus of a few early episodes, Denise Crosby felt the character was getting shunted to the background, and ultimately decided to leave. Unfortunately for everyone involved, this turned out to be a really pointless episode, remarkable only because they killed a main character. And Tasha Yar had the cringiest lines all the way to the end, meaning the writers really did have no idea what to do with her.

Tasha Yar does return in a later season, thanks to timey-wimey shenanigans, and Denise Crosby also plays Sela, the half-Romulan daughter of Tasha Yar (timey-wimey shenanigans), in some of the best episodes of TNG (at least from what I remember), so it’s not all doom and gloom for Tasha Yar (I mean, I have three Denise Crosby personnel cards from the Decipher Star Trek CCG - Tasha Yar, Tasha Yar-Alternate, and Sela - so Denise Crosby is well-represented).

Hopefully, she’ll get way better lines.

#TNGWatch #S01E22 #Symbiosis

I don’t know what this episode’s about! But! We’re watching Star Trek: The Next Generation on the 31st anniversary of it premiering on network TV! Whee!

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Bitchy Picard (which is wholly distinct from Grumpy Picard) is AWESOME!

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This was excellent! A whole planet of drug addicts (who don’t know they’re addicts and actually think the drug is a medicine for a plague they used to have), being serviced by a whole planet of drug dealers (who totally know they’re drug dealers), and the Enterprise, Picard and Crusher especially, are stuck in the middle. At first, I thought this was just gonna be a Very Special Episode, especially after the talk between Tasha Yar and The Boy about why people take drugs (holy shit am I happy she’s getting killed off in the next episode), but it turned out to be an episode about the Prime Directive and how it sometimes ties the Federation’s hands for both good and ill. I was, and am, on Team Crusher all the way, as she wanted to tell the addicts about their addiction and then use the Enterprise’s advanced medical technology to ween them off the drug, but Picard invoked the Prime Directive, and shut that down. He did eventually figure out a way to help the addicts, but in a very roundabout way that will ensure they suffer greatly before they get better.

I can understand Picard’s thinking, but man do I not agree with it. This isn’t a case of giving technology to a wholly primitive world. Like,  they have space travel and transporters and such. And this also isn’t a case of imposing Federation beliefs on a society. This is a humanitarian crisis on a literal global scale, and Picard basically turned his back on that because of a “philosophy” (his word).

Still, this is what Star Trek is about, man. Big questions without easy answers, that make people think about the things going on right now. Best episode of the season so far, and with only five episodes left, it might very well stay on top.

#TNGWatch #S01E21 #TheArsenalOfFreedom

I kind of remember this one. There was a holographic captain and a bunch of war weapons.

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I love that this is a “heavily forested planet”, but the background is still a blue screen. It seems only this small area that they’re walking around in is “heavily forested” :P

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Seriously, Picard? Your first time on an away team, and you fall into a hole? Lame, dude.

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I always forget this ship can separate into two parts.

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This was okay. I mostly enjoyed the fact that Geordi got to command the ship again as the Captain, the second-in-command, and the third-in-command all joined the away team for reasons. But Geordi was awesome in command. He should probably get promoted soon, and that mouthy Chief Engineer should be relieved of duty.

I love that the fix to the problem in this episode was buying the weapons system that was trying to kill everybody.

Hey! Two episodes without The Boy! He must be studying really hard since he failed the Starfleet exam.

#TNGWatch #S01E20 #HeartOfGlory

Romulans! Finally! And mayhaps some Klingons?

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Haha! That was a nifty little scene about what and how Geordi sees, and while Picard behaves like an excited schoolboy, Riker has to be the adult in the room and get the mission back on track :D

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This was a decent episode, if a bit anticlimactic. It was a pretty good character study of Worf, in which you learn he’s a third-culture kid who was raised by humans after his family was killed by Romulans at Khitomer. So when two renegade Klingons come aboard the Enterprise talking about battle and glory, Worf gets a bit misty-eyed. Worf, of course, chooses not to join the criminals, but still gives the last one a Klingon death (and I guess we’re supposed to feel pity for them, warriors in a time of peace, but they did kill some security officers who probably had families, so fuck that noise). Also, are all Klingons this poetic? (The answer is yes, of course they are.)

This episode also featured bits of the "Klingon Battle Theme" from Star Trek: The Motion Picture, and it was awesome. That’s one of my favorite pieces of music, and I recognized it immediately by just a few strains.

I was wrong about the Romulans. They are still no-shows, and I actually only realized when starting this episode that neither they nor the Klingons had showed up at all this entire season (Worf himself being the exception).

Fashion Talk: Klingon uniforms are the friggin’ best.

#TNGWatch #S01E19 #ComingOfAge

It’s a The Boy-centric episode as he takes his Starfleet entrance exam. Also, Starfleet Admiral shenanigans!

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Riker did his leg over the chair thing! Ha!

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When Picard was saving that kid in the shuttlecraft, my brain was shouting, “That’s not how physics works!”

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This was a pretty good episode. The Boy is taking the Starfleet entrance exam while Picard is being investigated for various goings-on onboard the Enterprise. However, I was right when I called this “admiral shenanigans” as that’s all they turned out to be. The admiral who ordered the investigation just wanted to make sure Picard was clean because he thinks there’s a conspiracy trying to tear the Federation down. I honestly hope this plot thread is picked up again later.

Meanwhile, The Boy goes through testing, and we meet Mordock, the first Benzite inducted into Starfleet. Yay, Mordock! I’m not really sure why I like him so much, but I do. The other human and the Vulcan who were also testing seemed like they could have been interesting characters, but unfortunately neither woman was really developed much.

Fashion Talk: The Boy cut his hair, and he looks way cuter now. Also, Picard wore his dress uniform in one scene, and I know it’s basically a long coat, but it really looks like a dress. It goes down all the way to just below the knee, and seems to be form-fitting. Also also, the Starfleet skirts seem to be making a huge comeback. I saw like 10 different people wearing them in this episode.

#TNGWatch #S01E18 #HomeSoil

After a long hiatus due to Samurai Champloo, Marvel's Spider-Man, Shadow of the Tomb Raider, Iron Fist, and The Dragon Prince (from the writers of Avatar: The Last Airbender!), we’re back to watching the semi-utopian future of Star Trek! I have no idea what this one’s about!

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The lady explaining how terraforming works to the clearly befuddled Enterprise away team is named Luisa Kim, making her a Latinx-Asian woman!

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Picard is getting his Dixon Hill on as he plays detective on an about-to-be-terraformed planet.

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That woman is clearly grieving, Riker! Stop being a sex pest!

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Worf just scolded the computer, and it was ADORABLE!

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This was legit a good episode. The Enterprise discovers a new type of life form on a planet that’s about to be terraformed (which would kill the new life form), and then the life form declares war on humanity. This is a great episode about the exploration side of Star Trek, and about defusing a situation as quickly as possible without killing anything in the process. Peace and science for the win!

Fashion Talk: Why do the terraforming crew’s uniforms have such a huge lapel? Wouldn’t that get in the way of all the stuff they have to do? Seems like a terrible accident waiting to happen.

#TNGWatch #S01E17 #WhenTheBoughBreaks

Oh dang, I think this is going to be a The Boy-centric episode.

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Why are all these children wearing such awful clothing?!

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It doesn’t even matter what this episode was about. That little red-headed girl was the most adorable thing and this episode is amazing because of her. She even played with The Boy and I found him less irritating. She went to hug Picard and it was adorable because he still doesn’t like children. She had what looked like a Tribble toy, and it was adorable too. There should be an entire episode devoted to the adventures of that little girl. There was also a civilization that kidnapped other people’s children, but who even cares.

Fashion Talk: As adorable as that little girl was, she and all the other children wore the most hideous clothing! It’s like they were all dressed for the figure skating competition at the Winter Olympics!

#TNGWatch #S01E16 #TooShortASeason

I have no idea what this episode is about! Exciting! There is a super old dude in it, though!

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This was a weird episode. A very old admiral makes the decision to take some untested alien drug to regain his youth so that he can redress a wrong he committed on a somewhat friendly, yet non-Federation planet. While he does get an extra dose for his wife, he doesn’t actually ask her about it, and ends up taking both doses anyway. Men. The actor that played the admiral was pretty awful, actually, and the story didn’t make a lot of sense. Like, how are you gonna redress a wrong by going in guns blazing? Nonsensical.

Fashion Talk: I just noticed that Starfleet pants have these little openings right above their shoes! That’s actually a pretty clever way to make sure the pants don’t bunch up at the ankle. I approve!

#TNGWatch #S01E15 #11001001

It’s the Bynars episode. I’m already quite happy seeing the supermassive Starbase that the Enterprise docks with :D

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Riker is being super creepy and skeevy in the holodeck.

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Damn, you guys cleared the entire Enterprise in only four minutes? That is efficient.

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This episode was alright. I liked Picard and Riker Butch-and-Sundancing their way into the bridge, but was a bit sad everybody else got shunted off to the side. But man, Riker was super skeevy every time he interacted with Minuet, the holowoman with all the Bynars’ info. I like the Bynars as a species a lot because they’re kind of mix of Coluans (super smart people with a supercomputer at the center of their world; see Braniac 5) and Winathians (people that are almost always born as twins; see Lightning Lad aka Live Wire and Lightning Lass aka Spark), and that makes my nerd brain happy. Also, the Starbase looked freaking awesome. I love that thing.

Fashion Talk: What the hell were Tasha Yar and Worf wearing at the beginning of this episode? It was blue and the right side was covered in extra fabric or netting. They were gonna play some sport on the Starbase, but those things were hideous. On the upside, The Boy got a haircut and he looks a lot less derpy now.

#TNGWatch #S01E14 #AngelOne

Another episode I know nothing about, but it has a matriarchal society and a missing starship crew, so I assume it will attempt to deal with sexism again. Worf did just say, “Klingons appreciate strong women,” so brace yourselves.

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Oh my God, Data, Riker, Tasha Yar, and Troi just had this whole conversation about aphrodisiacs. What the hell, TNG?!

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Oh man, the Fashion Talk for this episode is going to be long. I mean, there’s Riker nipple!

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There’s Picard nipple in this too! What is happening?!

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That was a weird and terrible episode. There are so many things going on, but they’re all so boring. There’s the deal with the marooned men on the matriarchal planet who are kind of, sort of agitating for equal rights for men just by existing, there’s a weird flu on the Enterprise in which The Boy was patient zero, and Romulans are sniffing about the Neutral Zone (possibly the most exciting bit in the episode, but we only ever hear about that and never see it). But it’s all so boring. The episode felt extra long because nothing was really happening. Everybody was just treading water until the appointed plot points were supposed to happen. And so much speechifying. From Crusher, from Riker, from friggin’ Tasha Yar. There were two good things, though: Worf sneezing a glorious sneeze, and La Forge taking command of the Enterprise while Picard was sick and Riker was sexytiming Beata, the head of state of Angel One.

Fashion Talk: This episode shows us a lot of weird outfits, man. First there was that tinfoil ski outfit that The Boy and his friend were wearing. It even had a shiny headband for reasons. If the sunlight glinting off the snow doesn’t blind you, those outfits definitely will.

Then, there was the really weird outfits the men had to wear on Angel One, and that Riker put on in order to be diplomatic when he met Beata for sexytimes. It was almost like a dancer’s outfit. It opened in the front (hence the Riker nipple), and the pants were really tight in the crotch and had ribbons tied around the legs going all the way up to the butt. Presumably, this is what the Angel One women find attractive and therefore force all the men to wear, but man, did they actually ask anybody who’s attracted to men about these outfits? Because they were hideous.

#TNGWatch #S01E13 #Datalore

Oooh, I’ve heard a lot about this episode, but I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen it! Excite!

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The Federation really needs to update their protocols for entering weird new places. How are you gonna scan for viruses and bacteria AFTER you’ve entered a sealed corridor? Seow.

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Wait, Data can be roofied?

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The Boy being told to “shut up” twice almost makes up for the fact that he once again saved everybody by being the first (and only) crew member to realize that Lore had switched places with Data before he started actively attacking, but c’mon, how is the entire bridge crew this dumb? Lore uses contractions, he calls Riker by his name instead of “Commander”, and doesn’t know what “Make it so” means. All of you should be fucking ashamed of yourselves that only The Boy clocked this. And the writers should be ashamed that they wrote this switcheroo so poorly. But I did like the various revelations about Data’s past, though I honestly thought this was already common knowledge in Starfleet. Like, how are you gonna turn on an android you know nothing about, then let him join Starfleet and rise up the ranks? What if he had been Lore? Starfleet is fucking weird sometimes, man.

Fashion Talk: That ensemble they put Lore in after they turn him on is kind of weird. It looks like a bathrobe with pantlegs. And a half turtleneck? I assume this thing is what civilians usually wear in the future, and if so, civilians wear some friggin’ ugly clothes.

#TNGWatch #S01E12 #TheBigGoodbye

Dixon Hill, motherfuckers!

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Wait, why is Picard pronouncing “meta” as “meet-a”? That’s just weird.

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This episode was awesome! I have a soft spot for holodeck episodes, and Picard trying to be a noir detective is one of the best uses of a holodeck (certainly better than Bashir trying to be a secret agent, though I liked that one too). Crusher trying to learn how to “doll it up” from one of the women in the program, and then swallowing a piece of gum, was hilarious. And I couldn’t decide if saying Data was from South America because of his “tan” was racist or not, but ultimately I didn’t care. This episode was too much fun. My favorite bit was probably Picard talking about how real everything felt during a senior staff meeting. He was as excited as I was after watching the Cyberpunk 2077 gameplay footage.

The one thing that annoyed me was that when the holodeck went haywire, it was The Boy and his Hideous Rainbow Sweater that saved the day because of course it was.

#TNGWatch #S01E11 #Haven

I think Riker was about watch some weird musical porn when Tasha Yar called him to the transporter room. Also, a Betazoid Gift Box!

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Lwaxana Troi is in the house! And man, I forgot she had a motor mouth!

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This was a weird episode, what with the arranged marriages and the plague ships and the pleasure planets and the shared consciousness, but it also featured the first appearance of Lwaxana Troi, who is the best character ever. She is loud and brash and speaks her mind and I love her to bits. And she made Picard say, “I am not amused.” Also, Lurch said “Thank you for the drinks.” :D Also, Riker was totally about to watch some porn at the very beginning, which is a weird place for him to start the episode when later he’s gonna get all jealous about Troi’s impending marriage to another human.

Fashion Talk: No The Boy to make fun of this episode, so instead I’ll make fun of Troi’s shiny pink jumpsuit. I wonder why so many sci-fi costume designers envision the fashion of the future so damn shiny! This jumpsuit might actually have been okay if not for the fact that it ended up looking like pink aluminum foil instead of a piece of fabric.

#TNGWatch #S01E10 #HideAndQ

My annoying ex-boyfriend Q’s back! And no Troi jumpsuits!

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Guys, Q is quoting Shakespeare. I’m in danger of taking my obnoxious ex-boyfriend back. Help me, guys. Someone sing Dua Lipa at me.

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This Q episode was good! I think maybe the writers are getting better? Picard calling Riker an idiot was too damn good, and I hope Picard does it more often (at least until Riker grows his sexy beard). Q had some pretty good lines this episode, and I guess the next time he shows up will be as Mortal Q, since he’s being punished? Tasha Yar, though. I think they just don’t know what to do with her. Bonus: Worf growling “This is sex!” was pretty hilarious. This isn’t great by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m at least enjoying myself more.

Fashion Talk: That’s the second time in a row The Boy has worn this particularly hideous sweater with the rainbow on it, but when Riker aged him up 10 years and he was still wearing it, I almost lost it. It turns out The Boy’s hideous sweaters are even more hideous on an older guy.

#TNGWatch #S01E09 #TheBattle

The Ferengi are back! It’s DaiMon Bok this time, whom I’ve heard a lot about, but never actually seen, I don’t think.

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Not bad, this episode. DaiMon Bok wants revenge against Picard for killing his son after an unprovoked attack nine years ago (when the Federation didn’t know who or what the Ferengi were), so Bok uses an illegal Thought Maker to make Picard relive the battle. He also tries to frame Picard with his old ship, the USS Stargazer, though that story thread seems to go nowhere. Bok is ultimately arrested by his own First Officer because Bok’s personal vengeance was an “unprofitable venture”, which is just the most Ferengi thing ever.

Fashion Talk: The Ferengi are still wearing their weird fur vests. I hope that’s gone the next time they show up.

#TNGWatch #S01E08 #Justice

This one’s got almost naked people! What’s with all the sex, TNG?!

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That shit-eating grin Riker has this entire episode is really quite indicative of this whole situation.

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This was a weird episode. I kind of understand the point of the whole “justice cannot be absolute” thing, but they were kind of heavy-handed about it. Also, why set it in what amounted to a weird orgy planet? Did no one think that would be just a little distracting to the overall theme? And why were the “gods” little all-powerful bubbles?

Fashion Talk: the Edo people were obviously wearing sexy clothes so they could sexytime whenever they wanted (which seemed to be pretty much all the time), but if that’s the case, why wear clothes at all? If the answer is “because network television”, then why wear such impractical clothes? I mean, those things were totally riding up everyone’s butts! Also, The Boy wore another hideous sweater, and Troi another hideous jumpsuit (or is it the same hideous jumpsuit?).